I believe that most of us go about life with the best intentions in mind. I started out feeling like I knew where I was going and what I was doing to some extent. As my life went on though, I started to realize that my best intentions are not enough, I can't just let things happen and hope that my intentions will make it all turn out alright. For me this actually happened quite young, I was 19 and pregnant. I had big choices to make and I had to alter any plans of backpacking through Europe or becoming an actress. I had a daughter and she is my heart in every way, but I still hadn't become very intentional. The intentions were there, the ideas, the dreams, but I still wasn't getting there. I wasn't living with intentionality.
What was missing? Where could I get back on track? How was I going to get intentional? Not just have the best intentions, but live out the intentions. Let's be honest I am definitely not the person my sixteen year old self expected me to be. While some of my expectations were ridiculous, many of them just involved making an impact. Something I really don't think I do, I am honestly surprised when someone I have only met once or twice remembers my name. I usually feel like my impact is very little and I work hard to stay fairly invisible. How did this happen? How did the girl that wanted nothing but to be larger than life become someone who rarely glanced in a mirror? I could go back through all my bad choices that led to terrible circumstances, but somehow I think it's much bigger than that. I think it really stems from something much more spiritual. I forgot that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I forgot that I had purpose.
I wish I could tell you now that I have it all figured out and for only 29.95 I can tell you how to be intentional. What I can tell you is that I have decided to make every effort to become more intentional. To do more things on purpose. I've already started doing this with my friendships, with my children, with the people I encounter when I am out. All I really have in this life to endure my death is the impressions and impacts I leave behind. That is what children are for and friends and coworker and even the checker in the store are intended for in my life. Will I leave these people better than I found them? Will I love hard and suffer long with them? I can count my life in the amount of money and things I have or I can count it in the ripples that go out from the impact I make on others. My life does matter and the people I influence matter and so on and so forth.
So here I am documenting my messes and moments where I get intentional and I see where God takes it. I'd love to join with you in this journey.
